However I Can Have You
by ewarrior11
Summary: Sarah Kerrigan is about to leave Jim Raynor again, this time to wage war against an impossibly powerful foe. Some things haven't been said that need to be, and Jim Raynor intends to correct that. Sequel to "A Healing of Hurts". Takes place just after SC2: Heart of the Swarm. Please feel free to review!


_**Author's Note:**__ I almost didn't write this fic to begin with. Heart of the Swarm did leave things unresolved, but I completely expected that since it's the second installment in a three part series. The story is obviously not supposed to end there. But as I thought about it, I felt the game didn't really have enough of Raynor and Kerrigan together, undoubtedly due to time constraints on the campaign. Some things were left unsaid that I thought should've been said, this is merely my own interpretation of those things._

_Fair warning up front, this one is really fluffy, but I figure these two have suffered enough to deserve a bit of fluff._

_This fic can be thought of as a sequel to "A Healing of Hurts" and refers briefly to events that took place in it._

_I do not own any of the characters or anything else owned by Blizzard, and this work was not made for profit._

**However I Can Have You**

Sarah Kerrigan stood upon the command deck of her Leviathan. She had closed herself off to the Swarm, desiring some time alone. She grinned ruefully at that, but was strangely comforted by it. It was a very human emotion, one of the signs that the primal Zerg strain she now carried hadn't subverted her humanity. Not that she'd had any inkling that such a thing was happening, but she hadn't been really aware of Amon's manipulations of her mind from years before either.

It was a lone bit of comfort, however. She was leaving soon, and did not expect to survive what came next. It wasn't fair; her relationship with Jim had just started to blossom when Mengsk betrayed her and left her to the Zerg. Their time together after he had saved her had been so short as to be painful. At least she had gotten to tell him how she felt. That was something at least.

She directed the viewer to zoom in on a single ship. The Terran battlecruiser was an older design, but still a proud ship for all that. She longed to drop everything and go to that ship, but she couldn't.

Kerrigan turned to Izsha. "Izsha, signal the Swarm to prepare for departure. It is time we get started."

"Of course, my queen," her advisor said. "I am receiving a transmission from the _Hyperion_, shall I accept it?"

Kerrigan sighed. It hurt just to think of leaving Jim behind, much less talking to him again, but she couldn't help herself. It wouldn't have been fair to him to not answer. "Put him on."

The organism that served as a communicator activated its image viewer. She saw that rugged, friendly face that had always been there for her and could still make her heart skip a beat, even make her grin like a giddy young lady going on her first date. Or could have at one time when life was simpler and all they had to worry about was a little old thing like overthrowing a corrupt government.

"Sarah, don't go just yet. I'd like to come and talk for a bit. In person."

She ached a little inside. It had been hard enough saying her goodbyes already, this was sure to be worse. But she couldn't just turn him away. She could never turn away the only man, the only person, who had ever believed in her.

"OK, come on over. I'll meet you in the docking tube."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The Leviathan scared the hell out of Jim Raynor. It was even scarier from the inside than from the outside. _I guess I've been fighting Zerg for so damned long that it couldn't be any other way._

Still, the place was dark and creepy as hell. The living ship had the look of, no surprise, an insect hive. The lighting was relatively poor (but most Zerg could see well in the dark, so he figured they didn't need much lighting). It was surreal and he had initially quailed at setting foot off the docking tube.

Sarah had arrived just as he got to the end of the docking tube, and she clearly knew what his fear was. _Probably read my mind,_ he thought. She always had been able to read him that way pretty easily.

He looked into her eyes, and he hurt inside. He knew she'd had to do it, that it was the only way to end Mengsk's tyranny once and for all. It still hurt. He had been overjoyed after the battle on Char, that he finally had her back. Events, however, had not let her stay with him.

She reached out a welcoming hand, and he took it as he stepped off the docking tube into the ship properly. "Nice place you have here, darlin'," he said sardonically.

She cracked a grin. "Believe it or not, I never really got used to it. Not now and not…not before either," she stumbled a bit as she thought of who she'd been before Jim had rescued her.

"Hey," Jim said, soothingly. "That wasn't you."

"Wasn't it?" she asked. "Look at what I did to get you back. Even if the old Queen of Blades was influenced by Amon, everything I have wrought here was from my own hand."

"I never said you were a saint," Jim said. "And I sure as hell ain't one myself, so I ain't judgin'. It's like you said, Mengsk drove us all to be a little monstrous at times. The price we paid to kill that son of a bitch had to be paid. The man was poison, truly evil. It had to be done."

"You're right," she said.

They both entered the command deck. The viewscreen organism was still showing Korhal from orbit. "Hell of a view," Jim said. "Thought I'd never see it. Mengsk is gone, and I think Junior might even turn out to be a good leader."

"He can't be worse than his father," Sarah replied.

"Sarah, I…" he stumbled to a halt. There was so much to say, and he didn't know where to start.

"I know," she whispered.

"Let me come with you," Jim said.

"You can't, Jim," she said. "I have to do this and…I don't expect to survive it, but it has to be done, or it will be the end of everyone and everything."

Jim frowned. "You've given enough Sarah. More than enough. You don't have to face this alone."

"Jim, no, you don't understand—"

He cut her off. "Dammit, Sarah. I would do anything for you! When I brought my men to Char, I rationalized it to them that it was the best way to win the war. Turns out that it really was, but I was really there for you and in my heart of hearts, I know I would've fed every one of us, myself included, into the flames if that's what it took to get you back."

"Jim—" she choked up, unable to speak. She could see the devotion in his mind, and it was searingly bright. It was humbling. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not just doing this to save the galaxy. I know what you would've done to bring me back from Char. That's why you of all people should understand. I'm doing this to save _you_."

"I have never wanted and never will want anyone to die for me," Jim said.

"I feel the same way," Sarah said. "but I can't bear the thought I could lose you. I can't. I can't do it, Jim. I just _can't!_"

"Sarah, you know I ain't the beggin' type, but I'll make an exception this time. Please, if I can't go with you, promise me you won't make this a suicide mission. Please tell me you won't kill yourself out of some sense of guilt," Jim begged of her. "You…_we_ have suffered enough."

She smiled sadly at him. "The knight in shining armor routine still suits you," she said. "But let's just say we win the war and we both live through it. What if the artifact can't change me back?" She looked away from him, shame evident on her face. It hurt Jim just to see it cross her eyes. "What if I will always be…like this?" she asked, gesturing to herself. Ashamed, she turned away from him, unable to bear to look him in the eyes. She felt his hand on her shoulder, gentle at first. Suddenly, he turned her around and she found herself embraced in his arms.

_Huh_, Jim thought, as he wrapped his arms around her. _The armor plating looks tough, but you're quite a bit softer than you look on the outside. But you always were that way, weren't you darlin?_

"Jim," she whispered. "I'm sorry. Oh, God, I'm sorry." She was weeping now. "I did the only thing I knew how to do to save you. I'm sorry."

"It's OK," Jim said quietly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Promise me you'll come back to me alive…in whatever form," he said.

"Jim I—"

"Say it," Jim said.

"I promise I will come back to you."

Jim smiled.

"But still, what if I come back as I am now?" she asked. "Are you going to live on this Leviathan? Amid all the Zerg creatures?"

The thought worried him, she could see that, but she felt his iron resolve harden before he spoke. "If I have to. If that's what it takes. I want you, not for anything you can do, I want you for _you,_ and I will take you however I can have you." More tears formed in her eyes. Everyone she'd ever known had used her as a tool and never cared about her as a person. Jim swore he would never treat her that way, and he wanted to make damned sure she knew it.

Another fear bubbled up in him, one of a more atavistic bent. She quickly understood. "I know what you fear. If you are still willing, you don't have to be afraid."

Jim pulled her close and they kissed. Slowly at first, but gradually more deeply. It was a strange experience for him, but still one he craved. He'd meant what he'd said. He really would be with her in whatever form, even this one, if that's what it took.

Jim had never demonstrated psionic talent, but he must've been latent or something. Every since he'd rescued her from Char, he was able to pick up snippets of her thoughts when they were close. Just as he'd seen in Zeratul's memories when Sarah was recovering in the Hyperion's med bay, he caught a glimpse of her aura. He saw the blazing angel again, beautiful and, at the same time, terrible in her power. It humbled him just as much this time as it had the first time.

They broke away from each other, and their eyes met. He could see her in her eyes, he could still see the real Sarah Kerrigan. She may have taken on a transformation but, unlike last time, it was really her in control.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you when you rescued me," Jim whispered. "I just thought that...that I'd lost you again."

She touched his face gently and smiled. "It's OK. I understand. Do you still believe in me?" she asked quietly. "Even after all of this?"

"Always," he said. "And forever."

It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from her. She had felt herself a slave to fate, and had resented it. She had felt she was being used to fight Amon, as she had been used to fight others, but not anymore. Jim was her purpose, her reason, and her cause. Now she didn't fight because she had to, she fought because she had something to fight for and, for the first time, she believed that this war might be won after all.

They held each other for a while, and didn't speak. Words simply weren't needed.

After a time they bid their painful goodbyes, but Jim saw a fire burning in her. It was the same fire that had made him fall hard for her all those years ago. He could see the steely determination in her and, somewhere, he felt sorry for whoever or whatever dared to stand in her path. It made him smile.

"Be careful darlin'," Jim said. "And if you need help, call on me. I will come. Just promise me that once this is done, that this nightmare will be over."

"It will," she said. "Whatever happens, we will make this work, I promise."

"I love you," Jim said.

"I love you too. Never forget it," she replied. And then he was gone.

Sarah turned and left the docking bay, emerging on the command deck nearly burning with her new purpose. Kerrigan briskly summoned her assistant. "Izsha."

"Yes, my queen?" her assistant responded promptly.

"Set a course towards the Saggitarius Arm. We have a war to win, and we'd best be about it."

"Yes, my queen," Izsha responded.

"Amon _used me_ to try to destroy the person that matters most to me, and Mengsk's minion Narud helped to bring him back to life. He has forced me to leave that same person behind in order to protect him. Ancient god or not, Amon is about to find out what happens when you piss me off!"

"Your will is our will, my queen," Izsha said.

"Execute warp jump," Kerrigan ordered. "And may God have mercy on Amon, for we will not."


End file.
